● In a Bangkok Temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN
● Cocktail lounge in Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR
● Doctor's office in Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES
● Dry cleaners in Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS
● In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER
● On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE
● In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS
● In a Cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES
● Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED
● On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR
● In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS
● Hotel in Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID
● Hotel in Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID
● In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY
● A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE
● Hotel in Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE
● Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
● Airline ticket office in Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS
● A Laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME
● In an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window:
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE
● On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP
● In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
● In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
● In the window of a dry cleaner's:
SAME DAY DRY CLEANING - ALL GARMENTS READY IN 48 HOURS
● In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
● In another office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY, PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
● Outside a furniture shop:
OUR MOTTO: WE PROMISE YOU THE LOWEST PRICES AND WORKMANSHIP
● Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
● Sign in a German cafe:
MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING
● In a dental office:
BE TRUE TO YOUR TEETH OR THEY WILL BE FALSE TO YOU
● Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
● Sign in a picture shop:
LET US PUT YOU IN THE PICTURE AND FRAME YOU
● Notice in restaurant:
OUR CUTLERY IS NOT MEDICINE SO PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT AFTER MEALS
● Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
● Sign on a newly painted bench:
WET PAINT - WATCH IT OR WEAR IT
● Sign in London pizza parlour:
OPEN 24 HOURS - EXCEPT 2 A.M. - 8 A.M.
● On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
● Sign in Egyptian hotel:
IF YOU REQUIRE ROOM SERVICE, PLEASE OPEN DOOR AND SHOUT, "ROOM SERVICE!"
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN
● Cocktail lounge in Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR
● Doctor's office in Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES
● Dry cleaners in Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS
● In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER
● On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE
● In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS
● In a Cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES
● Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED
● On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR
● In a Tokyo Bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS
● Hotel in Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID
● Hotel in Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID
● In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY
● A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE
● Hotel in Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE
● Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
● Airline ticket office in Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS
● A Laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME
● In an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window:
IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE
● On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP
● In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
● In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
● In the window of a dry cleaner's:
SAME DAY DRY CLEANING - ALL GARMENTS READY IN 48 HOURS
● In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
● In another office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY, PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
● Outside a furniture shop:
OUR MOTTO: WE PROMISE YOU THE LOWEST PRICES AND WORKMANSHIP
● Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
● Sign in a German cafe:
MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING
● In a dental office:
BE TRUE TO YOUR TEETH OR THEY WILL BE FALSE TO YOU
● Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
● Sign in a picture shop:
LET US PUT YOU IN THE PICTURE AND FRAME YOU
● Notice in restaurant:
OUR CUTLERY IS NOT MEDICINE SO PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT AFTER MEALS
● Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
● Sign on a newly painted bench:
WET PAINT - WATCH IT OR WEAR IT
● Sign in London pizza parlour:
OPEN 24 HOURS - EXCEPT 2 A.M. - 8 A.M.
● On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
● Sign in Egyptian hotel:
IF YOU REQUIRE ROOM SERVICE, PLEASE OPEN DOOR AND SHOUT, "ROOM SERVICE!"
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