Euro-English

I got this on the Internet and I thought that I might as well share it.

The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English(Euro for short).
In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k'.
Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wi be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'W' by 'V'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' can be droped from words kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of ckors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil have a sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

I.A.S. & I.P.S.

I was talking to a friend yesterday and the question of Doctors and Engineers becoming IAS or IPS Officers turned up and I remembered an incident that happened during my college days. Those were the days when the National Cadet Corps (NCC) was running full fledged and I was a cadet. Just before the final year of my college studies, we had a NCC camp and our Commandant was briefing us about the rules that have to be followed during the course of the camp and the equipment that we should bring with us.

After this briefing, the Commandant asked us what we were going to do after the completion of our undergraduate studies. Most of us said that we would try for a job, some said that they would go in for higher studies etc. Then when it came to the turn of our Under Sargent (a Mechanical Engineering student), he said that he was going to do his IPS - this was way back in 1972. Our commandant flew into a rage. He wanted to know why the Under Sargent opted to do Engineering if he intended to go and become an IPS officer. He might as well have done a B.A.. or a B.Sc. and left the Engineering seat to a person who would practice what he had learned, maybe for the good of the country. He asked the student whether he knew what the Government was spending for his studies, and also the time he had wasted and the time and effort that his lecturers have wasted imparting their specialized knowledge to a person who was not prepared to use the knowledge and skills that he had gained during a span of five year.

This just left me wondering and wondering.

Hair Cut

Had a hair cut yesterday. Set me wondering as to who cut our hair when we were babies and not old enough to go to a barber's on our own.

Mantra

There are a lot of odds and ends that I've gathered over the years and one of them is a mantra (a kind of self-hypnosis) that goes like this :"Day by day, in every way, I am becoming more and more healthy, wealthy, loving, blissful and enlightened." But sometimes while I am repeating this mantra instead of the last word "enlightened" I come up with the word "ignorant". I don't know why it happens. Maybe someone out there can tell me why?

Indiblogger

Corn On The Ear

Here is something else I had in my collection of odds and ends. Some of you might have seen it, others may not.

Where can a man buy a cap for his knee,

Or a key for a lock of his hair?

Can your eyes be called an academy,

Because there are pupils there?

In the crown of your head what jewels are found?

Who crosses the bridge of your nose?

Could you use in shingling the roof of your mouth,

The nails on the end of your toes?

Could the crook in your elbow be sent to jail?

How can you sharpen your shoulder blades?

Could you sit in the shade of the palm of your hand,

Or beat the drum of your ear?

Does the calf of your leg eat the corn on your toe?

Then why grow corn on the ear?

Chennai Super Kings

Last night's performance by the Chennai Super Kings was really disappointing.