An Enlightened Man

This is something from the odds and ends that I had collected. I have such a lot of scrap books that I still have to go through.
There was this wise old man who had answers to all life-related questions. He was and enlightened person. A boy wanted to test the old man. He caught hold of a little bird. Holding it in the palm of his hand and with the hand hidden inside his coat, he asked the old man, "I have a bird with me. Is it alive or dead?" The old man smiled and said, "If I tell you, the bird is alive, you will crush the bird and show me a dead one. If I tell you, the bird is alive, you will release the bird and show me it is alive."
Embarrassed, the boy dropped his head and began to walk away. He would have hardly walked a few steps. He heard the voice of the old man, "Mind you my son, in fact, this is the philosophy of life - your life and death are in your own hands."

FOUR THINGS YOU PROBABLY NEVER KNEW YOUR MOBILE PHONE COULD DO

You might find this useful.

One:

The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile; network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed  even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

Two:

Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their mobile phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone.

Three:

 Imagine your mobile battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your mobile will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your mobile next time.

Four:

To check your mobile phone's serial number, key in the following digits on your phone!: * # 0 6 #, a 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. If your phone gets stolen or lost, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless

Spider's Web Stronger Than A Brick Wall

During World War II, a soldier was separated from his unit on a Pacific island. The fighting had been intense, and in the smoke and the crossfire he had lost touch with his comrades.
Alone in the jungle, he could hear enemy soldiers coming in his direction. Scrambling for cover, he found his way up a high ridge to several small caves in the rock. Quickly he crawled inside one of the caves. Although safe for the moment, he realized that once the enemy soldiers looking for him swept up the ridge, they would quickly search all the caves and he would be killed.
As he waited, he prayed,“Lord, if it be your will, please protect me. Whatever your will though, I love you and trust you. Amen.”
After praying, he lay quietly listening to the enemy begin to draw close. He thought, “Well, I guess the Lord isn’t going to help me out of this one.”
Then he saw a spider begin to build a web over the front of his cave.As he watched, listening to the enemy searching for him all the while, the spider layered strand after strand of web across the opening of the cave.
”Hah, he thought, “What I need is a brick wall and what the Lord has sent me is a spider web. God does have a sense of humor.”
As the enemy drew closer, he watched from the darkness of his hideout and could see them searching one cave after another. As they came to his, he got ready to make his last stand.
To his amazement, however, after glancing in the direction of his cave, they moved on. Suddenly, he realized that with the spider web over the entrance, his cave looked as if no one had entered it for quite a while.
“Lord, forgive me,” prayed the soldier."I had forgotten that for you a spider’s web is stronger than a brick wall.”
Dear friends,So just keep faith in HIM.

A Prayer From Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not

so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood as to understand;

and to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Actually this is not St. Francis of Assisi's work. It was found written on the observe of a holy card of St. Francis, which was found in a Normal Almanac. The prayer bore no name; but in the English speaking world, on account of this holy card, it came to be called the Peace Prayer of St. Francis.

Reflections Of A Parent

I gave you life, but cannot live it for you.
I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn.
I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.
I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it.
I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot always decide for you.
I can buy you beautiful clothes, but I cannot make you beautiful inside.
I can offer you advice, but I cannot accept it for you.
I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.
I can advise you about friends, but cannot choose them for you.
I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
I can tell you the facts of life, but I can't build your reputation.
I can tell you about drink, but I can't say "no" for you.
I can warn you about drugs, but I can't prevent you from using them.
I can tell you about lofty goals, but I can't achieve them for you.
I can teach you about kindness, but I can't force you to be gracious.
I can warn you about sins, but I cannot make you moral.
I can love you as a child, but I cannot place you in God's family.
I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you eternal life.

Red Ants Eating A Piece Of A Biscuit

This is a picture of red ants eating a piece of biscuit that I shot today.

This is another that I took half an hour later. Nearly a quarter of the biscuit has been eaten up.

This was taken an hour later

Nearly complete within the next quarter of an hour and it is being taken away.

What I Want And What I Need

Here are a few lines penned by Swami Vivekananda:

When I asked God for strength

He gave me difficult situations to face.

When I asked God for brains and brawn

He gave me puzzles to solve.

When I asked God for happiness

He showed me some unhappy people.

When I asked God for wealth

He showed me how to work hard.

When I asked God for favors

He showed my opportunities to work hard.

When I asked God for peace

He showed me how to help others

God gave me nothing I wanted.

He gave me everything I needed.

Growing Or Ageing?

Growing or ageing is not a yearly process, but an everyday one. Putting life into days is growing whereas putting days into life is ageing. Those days when you do not do anything productive are those days when one just ages. But how does one put life into days and keep growing? There are three needs: the physical, the mental, the emotional and the spiritual. The physical one is 'to live'; the mental - 'to learn'; the emotional - to love and be loved and the spiritual is 'to leave a legacy'.
Stop ageing and start growing.
Fulfill:
Your need to 'live' by exercising your body everyday.
Your need to 'learn' by developing the habit of reading inspirational books. Learn a new proficiency every year.
Your need to 'love' by doing small acts and expressions of love. The expression of love is limitless.
Your need to 'leave a legacy' by contributing something positive to this planet. Plant a tree. The possibilities are endless.

God's Cup Of Coffee

I am going to share a story I heard about God's cup of coffee.
A group of alumni, highly established in their professions, got together and decided to visit their old university professor. conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in life and work.
Offering his guests, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself does not add quality to the coffee.In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups. And then you began eying each other's cup. Now consider this: Life is the; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes by concentrating on only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."
God brews the coffee, not the cups. Enjoy your coffee!
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

Desire And Its Fulfillment

Any desire that is entertained and not fulfilled turns out to be a something that is incomplete. And every thing that is incomplete keeps irritating you from inside. A relentless sense of incompleteness is always there. It is a kind of psychological irritation. The desire should be either got rid of or it should be fulfilled. No point in letting it hang. Every incomplete desire drains your energy leaving you fatigued. That is why it is not a lot of work that tires you. It is what remains incomplete that makes you tired.

Mouse

It seems that there was a mouse who was always afraid of the cat. A sage passed by and the mouse told him of his problem. The sage turned the mouse into a cat. Now it was afraid of the dog. So the sage turned it into a dog. Now it was afraid of man. The sage once again turned it into a man. Now it was afraid of God. At this stage the sage got fed up and turned the man back into a mouse saying, "Nothing is going to be of any help to you as in your heart you are still a mouse."

Monk

Another One.

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a
sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.
That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.

The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was, is to become a
monk, how do I become a monk?

The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have traveled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 71,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.

The monks reply, Congratulations, you are correct and now you are a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, May I have the key? The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man requests the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made
of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, This is the key to the last door. The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob,
and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that
strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight but I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.

DON'T SWEAR AT ME; I'M STILL HUNTING FOR THE IDIOT WHO SENT THIS TO ME!

Learn Chinese In Five Minutes

Here is another one from my collection of odds and ends.

That's not right...
Sum Ting Wong
Are you harboring a fugitive?...
Hu Yu Hai Ding?
See me ASAP...
Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man...
Dum Gai
Small Horse...
Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach?...
Wai Yu So Tan?
I bumped into a coffee table...
Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a face lift...
Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here...
Wai So Dim?
I thought you were on a diet...
Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away zone...
No Pah King
Our meeting is scheduled for next week...
Wai Yu Kum Nao?
Staying out of sight...
Lei Ying Lo
He's cleaning his automobile...
Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive...
Yu Stin Ki Pu

Fun Puns

Here is one more of the odds and ends that I had collected.

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A pessimist’s blood group is always B-negative.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me its klin time.
Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
Short gun wedding : A case of wife or death.
I used to work for a blanket factory , but it folded up.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Dancing cheek to cheek is really a form of floorplay .
Banning the bra was a big flop.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
Without geometry , life is pointless.
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
When you dream in color; it’s a pigment of your imagination.
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
When two egotist meet , its an I for an I.

Why Grow Corn On The Ear?

Here's another one.
Where can a man buy a cap for his knee?
Or a key for a lock of his hair?
Can your eyes be called an academy?
Because there are pupils there?
In the crown of your head what jewels are found?
Who crosses the bridge of your nose?
Could you use in shingling the roof of your mouth?
The nails on the end of your toes?
Could the crook in your elbow be sent to jail?
How can you sharpen your shoulder blades?
Could you sit in the shade of the palm of your hand?
Or beat the drum of your ear?
Does the calf of your leg eat the corn on your toe?
Then why grow corn on the ear?

An Athiests Holiday

Of the odds and ends that I had collected I came across this one.

In Florida, USA, an Atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that Atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a Judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the Lawyer, The Judge banged his gavel declaring, “Case dismissed!"
The Lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, How can you be possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kip Pur and Hanukkah, But my client and all other Atheists have no such holidays."
The Judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do.  Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant." The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists." The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April fool’s Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'the fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says,There is no God, and then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day.  Court is adjourned.."
You got to love this Judge, who knows his scriptures.